The Real Way- entry 1 BE LOUD!

Submission #1 on my anti-Dale Carnegie principles, titled for now 'The Real Way to Win Friends and Influence People'

I've wanted to write this for some years now as a humorous look at reality versus the ideal. I like Carnegie, I like the principles and all that jazz...but I just cannot refrain from thinking (believing) that books like Carnegies are funded by the wolves (rich people) with the expressed, but unmentioned, intention of feeding it to the sheep (poor people) as a way to keep them in line. My reasoning is a simple one, the richer you are, the more likely you are to have achieved wealth without regard to the principles. The poorer you are, the more likely you are to repeat to yourself, at least I have my pride; at least I have my honor, at least I have my self-respect; etc etc etc.

Anyways, once a day, I am going to add a new excerpt from the notes I wrote 5 years ago. Check back every day to read the latest entry. These excerpts will not necessarily be the final version of the entries when the book comes out, but hey, it's a good head start.


Entry 1:

Be Loud
- The squeaky wheel gets the oil
Let's face it, when you are trapped in a crowd of people, who gets all the attention? The loud ones. The more they scream, the more they shout, the more they make a spectacle of themselves, the more we listen- the more we pay attention. Loud people are listened to! We may not agree wholeheartedly with what they are saying, in fact, we probably often disagree- even if we never actually voice our disagreements- but it still remains that we have listened. We may not have wanted to listen, but what difference does that make? We had no choice because they were loud.

Now, being loud is not a whole lot different than being rich or powerful, since you have other deceptively effective ways of being heard, such as through the media or just through the sheer force of your wealth. The main difference is that being loud is not inversely proportional to wealth or power; rich people too should be loud- especially if they want to become richer and more powerful.

When it comes to being heard, loud people are definitely heard- the squeaky wheel gets the grease. You've all been in a situation before, where you've patiently waited your turn, only to have some disgruntled jackass push their way to the front of the queue, shouting bloody murder, and commanding the complete and entire rapt attention of a salesperson, sales force, or entire organization. While we are standing there thinking, what a freaking, loud-assed, jackass, moron; as we stand there thinking how disgusting a human being this is, that person is being served; that person is being serviced; that person has loudly demanded attention. You? You are standing there fuming on the inside, thinking bad thoughts, not getting serviced, not getting attention, not being delighted.

When it comes to being loud, think about any social gathering you've been to, think about any bar you've ever gone to, think about any verbal argument you've been in- who gets attention, who garners the spotlight, who wins the fight- the loud ones, that's who! Why do you think that as an argument heats up, voices become raised: because if you can shout down your opponents, you have won. Reason plays no part in it, civility is just a word- there are no tempered arguments that are made, just bad-tempered ones.

So don't be shy, don't care what people think, just be loud. Use it to get attention, use it to get your way, use it as an effective way to get your message across- use it, because it will produce results! And don't worry about your self-respect, using some of the other principles- that will be explained later- will allow you to claim that yours (self-respect) is firmly intact- and you know what? People are going to accept that it is so; why? Because you're going to have a choice to either softly explain your reasons, or LOUDLY proclaim then! Plus don't forget that they are playing by different rules (supposedly), like the one that says forgive and forget.




here are my original written reasons for wanting to write this.
I wanted to write the antithesis to Carnegie Carnegie’s, How to Win Friends and Influence People, because of the company that I work for. From the moment that I walked in and was handed a copy of the book I thought, here we go, let the brainwashing begin.

In all fairness it was my first time reading the book that I had heard so much about, mainly through the media and from a few of my mentors. Of course considering who my mentors were, I had always thought that I should avoid anything that would make me anything even remotely like them :) But alas, here I was, my first day of training at a large, highly respected distributor of electronic components, with a copy of a book I had vowed to avoid, shoved in front of my face and told that I had to become acquainted with it.

After devouring the 4 part, 30 lesson book I was enthused about Carnegie's master plan on how to win friends and influence people. Brilliant, I thought. I’m going to apply all these principles and be a star in both my professional and personal life. HA! Was I ever wrong!

The book is a great insight insofar as it opens your mind to an entire world of human characteristics. In truth if these rules were followed, by everyone, the world would be a much better place. The unfortunate part is that the only people who are told to follow these principles are the masses, the average John and Mary, you and I. I came to the realization that the book had been designed by the wolves and given to the sheep to encourage them not to complain as they were being eaten. This came about, as I observed, not only the behavior in the upper echelons at my company, but also the behavior of the upper echelon worldwide. Let’s face it, the rules are not the same for the rich, famous, and powerful as they are for the average, ordinary human being.

Just out of a sense of absolute cynicism about this devious double standard, I set out to write a few points on the real way to win friends and influence people. From that sprang an entire book and only because I did not want to be taken seriously. I aimed to be funny just in case I was being surreptitiously observed, after all, it has been known to happen in more than one organization. Through the deliberate deception of trying to be funny, a few people who had an inside peek at my work actually laughed and said I should write a book about this. So that’s what I did.


Disclaimer #1
Real life does not always follow a pattern so a few of my rules that seem contradictory are not. Everything has a time and place, so do these rules of engagement.

Disclaimer #2
Remember that this book is written tongue in cheek, humor is the only real intention. I will not accept any responsibility for any moron that goes out and attempts some of the more risqué suggestions and fails or goes to jail. Use-your-head-stupid!

Disclaimer #3
Before making any decisions remember the golden rule, do unto others, as you would have them do unto you. If you can handle it then so can they.