Destiny Paired
Creation of a busy mind-
Flashbacks of long forgotten thoughts;
Mirages best off left behind;
Melded from a million parts.
What was but distant dreaming
Of the carnage of broken hearts-
Those coming and of those leaving-
Ups and downs with the leftover scars
Of loves and battles lived and fought.
Through all of this comes life’s clichés;
Hard to think past what love brought;
Ray of hope beckons shines this day.
Each morning awakens new hopes-
Thrilled at the prospects of sharing
Life’s moments and joys for the post;
Screams to the world of this pairing.
T'is rare to have founded two near
Souls and spirits evenly matched;
Kindred wanderers over years
Are found, though the differing paths.
An eye towards the future bright-
Of lives and love together true,
Such feelings are forever right,
Wanting every night with you.
November 13th, 2007
Garfield Jones
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
UN in Iraq
What to do, what to do...what do we do with Iraq? That certainly has to be a refrain that runs through the mind of the President-elect Obama- what to do with Iraq? Thus far, we- and I use the term "we" loosely to mean the entire world who supported and supports him- have heard about US combat troops pulling out within 16 months. I say pish-posh, let's do it in 6.
I know, I know it sounds insane and implausible but I believe 16 months is far too long. I believe it is time to trade in the red berets, the green berets, etc for the blue helmets of peacekeeping. It is time for the rest of the world to step up and clean up this bloody mess.
You might be tempted to rightly think, why should we? The answer is that the UN was formed for this very purpose. It does not ask who started or who was wrong, but how can we best bring about peace. Now granted, even Americas has tacitly admitted to betraying the world's trust, love, and admiration by wrongfully invading Iraq. They went too far, too fast without the kind of consensus needed for global participation against an alleged "rogue" state.
Back in 2002 Bush made what was actually a pretty good case in his UN speech on why something needed to be done about Iraq. Problem was that he followed all of that rhetoric up with lies and deception that were so cleverly played and propagandized that it inexorably led to an unjust invasion. Yet, I will maintain to this day, had he simply stayed true to his reasons that September day that the UN as a whole had to do something about Iraq.
I can understand his administrations reasons for choosing the path of lies and deceit that they did; quite frankly, they hated the UN and did not want it to be part of any solution...in other words, they figured out a means by which to try to kill two birds with one stone. It was a strategic misguided mean-spirited tragic blunder.
Anyways, the time for recriminations and finger-pointing has long past...kidding, we can absolutely still do that: somebody other than Iraqis need to pay a price (if only politically). The time though for a reconciliation of sorts and positive actions are at hand.
As mentioned, none of that matters. The UN's peacekeeping arm is not about warring but conflict-resolution and peace-keeping. As a gift to the new President-elect, I believe the best gift the world can give is unanimous consent to make Iraq more than an "American" problem...provided America can accept that the time for this war is at an end.
It may also mean that the Iraqis and the rest of the world would have to accept something incredibly outrageous on the face of it, that those who have waged war (America) can shift gears and become keepers of the peace. I believe the good-will generated by the election of Obama makes this belief possible. This does not mean that the world can idly sit back and watch only America attempt to keep the Iraqi peace, au contraire, the rest of "us" will have to commit treasure and troops to the effort. Again, that is all made possible by recent electoral events.
The thought makes eminent sense for America considering that as UN troops move, US troops can move out. They can divert some of those troops to places where they are needed, Afghanistan anyone? Or simply use the saved resources to help rebuild an economy that still has yet to hit bottom. Let's face it, the cycle of credit markets freezing up, leading to tightened spending, leading to frigid sales, leading to massive layoffs, leading to considerable amounts of misery is nowhere close to rock-bottom. We have a long hard road ahead of us, so the sooner funds can be freed up for more economically sound endeavors in America, the better for us all.
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=48795560707
I know, I know it sounds insane and implausible but I believe 16 months is far too long. I believe it is time to trade in the red berets, the green berets, etc for the blue helmets of peacekeeping. It is time for the rest of the world to step up and clean up this bloody mess.
You might be tempted to rightly think, why should we? The answer is that the UN was formed for this very purpose. It does not ask who started or who was wrong, but how can we best bring about peace. Now granted, even Americas has tacitly admitted to betraying the world's trust, love, and admiration by wrongfully invading Iraq. They went too far, too fast without the kind of consensus needed for global participation against an alleged "rogue" state.
Back in 2002 Bush made what was actually a pretty good case in his UN speech on why something needed to be done about Iraq. Problem was that he followed all of that rhetoric up with lies and deception that were so cleverly played and propagandized that it inexorably led to an unjust invasion. Yet, I will maintain to this day, had he simply stayed true to his reasons that September day that the UN as a whole had to do something about Iraq.
I can understand his administrations reasons for choosing the path of lies and deceit that they did; quite frankly, they hated the UN and did not want it to be part of any solution...in other words, they figured out a means by which to try to kill two birds with one stone. It was a strategic misguided mean-spirited tragic blunder.
Anyways, the time for recriminations and finger-pointing has long past...kidding, we can absolutely still do that: somebody other than Iraqis need to pay a price (if only politically). The time though for a reconciliation of sorts and positive actions are at hand.
As mentioned, none of that matters. The UN's peacekeeping arm is not about warring but conflict-resolution and peace-keeping. As a gift to the new President-elect, I believe the best gift the world can give is unanimous consent to make Iraq more than an "American" problem...provided America can accept that the time for this war is at an end.
It may also mean that the Iraqis and the rest of the world would have to accept something incredibly outrageous on the face of it, that those who have waged war (America) can shift gears and become keepers of the peace. I believe the good-will generated by the election of Obama makes this belief possible. This does not mean that the world can idly sit back and watch only America attempt to keep the Iraqi peace, au contraire, the rest of "us" will have to commit treasure and troops to the effort. Again, that is all made possible by recent electoral events.
The thought makes eminent sense for America considering that as UN troops move, US troops can move out. They can divert some of those troops to places where they are needed, Afghanistan anyone? Or simply use the saved resources to help rebuild an economy that still has yet to hit bottom. Let's face it, the cycle of credit markets freezing up, leading to tightened spending, leading to frigid sales, leading to massive layoffs, leading to considerable amounts of misery is nowhere close to rock-bottom. We have a long hard road ahead of us, so the sooner funds can be freed up for more economically sound endeavors in America, the better for us all.
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=48795560707
Saturday, November 08, 2008
MSNBC Movie reviews
• "Role Models"With “Role Models,” Paul Rudd may suddenly find himself getting the attention he has largely avoided, because his work here is at a game-changing level for a young actor. The fact that he also shares a writing credit should provide a boost as well.
• "Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa"Seriously, “Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa” may not be the worst of the animated features that have been forced down our collective gullet since the genre’s rebirth with “The Little Mermaid” almost 20 years ago, but it feels like a collection of tropes and gags so familiar that even 4-year-olds could map out where they’ve seen all this before.
• "Soul Men"The plot outline for “Soul Men” could fit comfortably on a single note card, with room left over for a grocery list and a few phone numbers. A road-trip rip-off of “The Sunshine Boys” infused with soul music and vulgar, misogynist humor, this dreadful film marks a sad end to the distinguished careers of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes.
• "Repo! The Genetic Opera"“Repo! The Genetic Opera” is easily one of the worst movies of the year, if not all time. This goth garbage isn’t clever enough to be “Sweeney Todd” and it isn’t campy enough to be “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” — it’s not even worthwhile in a culty, midnight-movie way.
• "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas"The family drama “The Boy in the Striped Pajamas” depicts the Holocaust through the simplistic eyes of a child: all the brutality, all the absurdity, crystallized by the innocence of an 8-year-old boy. Writer-director Mark Herman has created a needlessly overpowering film.
• "Zach and Miri Make a Porno"It’s a lovely, naughty little movie that allows writer-director Kevin Smith to indulge his twin penchants for scatological sex talk and heartfelt slacker romance. Having old friends realize they love each other during the making of a pornographic video might not be the usual romantic comedy convention, but no one could accuse the maker of “Chasing Amy and “Dogma” of pursuing the tried-and-true.
• "The Haunting of Molly Hartley"Points to “The Haunting of Molly Hartley” for defying conventions in its provocative final twist, but the movie really makes you work for it — to get to the finish line, audiences will be forced to endure trite dialogue, familiar situations and uninspired acting.
• "Splinter"The feature debut from British writer-director Toby Wilkins is a truly inspired mix of stripped-down, 1970s-style scares and vivid special effects. It has so many gnarly, oh-my-God-did-that-just-happen? moments, your jaw will hurt from hitting the floor so often.
• "High School Musical 3: Senior Year"Would that “HSM 3” contained a single new idea. This latest and last of the series is a stitched-together Frankenstein monster of an entertainment, featuring major components that were already trotted out the first two times.
• "Changeling"Working from a fascinating true story, director Clint Eastwood starts out with an interesting thriller-melodrama that drags its story out a full half-hour or so past its emotional climax. Rather than run one of those crawls that explains the rest of the story, Eastwood tells you every last detail, thus minimizing whatever power the movie ever had.
• "Synecdoche, New York"If a seasoned filmmaker created a work as funny, moving, perplexing, thought-provoking, poignant and powerful as “Synecdoche, New York,” that alone would be reason for exultation. The fact that this little gem — both intimate and epic, cerebral and emotional — marks the directorial debut of screenwriter Charlie Kaufman makes the achievement all the more worthy of celebration.
• "Pride and Glory"Everything about the dirty cop thriller “Pride and Glory” is formulaic and forgettable, even down to its generic title. Edward Norton and Colin Farrell chew up the scenery and spit it back out again as brothers-in-law and brothers in blue. When a cop killer takes down four of their comrades, years of schemes and resentments come bubbling to the surface.
• "W."Even though Stone can’t resist the occasional lapse into cartoonishness, “W.” winds up being a thought-provoking examination of a crucial turning point in American history. What may wind up being most shocking to the conservatives who have been pillorying Stone for months is how sympathetic the film is to its leading character
• "Max Payne"I’ve always wondered why, when I see a great Mark Wahlberg performance in a film like “I Heart Huckabee’s” or “The Departed,” I have to remind myself all over again that the artist formerly known as Marky Mark can be a very fine screen actor. But then I see “Max Payne,” and it reminds me; I forget how good he can be because of his frequent participation in brainless bullet-fests like this new big-screen adaptation of the popular videogame.
• "What Just Happened?"Hollywood producers are — speaking generally, of course — rich, pampered, selfish, spoiled and powerful. That doesn’t mean that a talented filmmaker couldn’t make a smart, compassionate movie that would make an audience feel some sympathy for one of these guys. “What Just Happened?” is not that movie.
• "The Secret Lives of Bees"Bringing Sue Monk Kidd’s novel to the big screen, Prince-Bythewood gets a lot of things right, but every time a mouth-breathing redneck pops up to torment one of the movie’s African-American characters, “Bees” loses a dimension. Still, the film has lots to offer.
• "Body of Lies"Add “Body of Lies” to the heap of snoozeburger films about the War on Terror. If you thought that director Ridley Scott, working with actors Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe and screenwriter William Monahan (“The Departed”), was going to break the Hollywood Goes to Iraq curse with his latest, get ready for disappointment — the Hollywood Surge still isn’t working.
• "City of Ember"Would that this new movie had a tenth of the charm or the smarts of the "Wall-E." All “City of Ember” offers are uninteresting characters in a grimy and bleak world — the production design all but screams “It’s a set!” — and instead of suspense or even empathy, there’s just noise and ugliness.
• "RocknRolla"To attempt to recap the plot of Guy Ritchie’s new film “RocknRolla” would probably require flashcards, a dry-erase board and PowerPoint; suffice it to say that while the movie never tires of adding more characters and plot twists to its runnething-over-cup, Ritchie brings enough flash and silliness to the proceedings to make it a fun, if exhausting, ride.
• "Happy-Go-Lucky"It’s the predictability of most movies that makes the work of Mike Leigh so refreshing. If you’ve ever seen one, you know that his films present unforgettable characters and fascinatingly intimate stories, but do so within structures that feel organic and lifelike, slowly and subtly working their way toward the audience understanding just who these people are and what guides their behavior.
• "Blindness"In his previous overrated hit films, “City of God” and “The Constant Gardener,” Brazilian director Fernando Meirelles has looked at humanity as wriggling specimens pinned to a board. His movies attach people-puppets to big, bold statements, but the films flounder when those people are supposed to be, you know, multi-dimensional human beings.
• "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People"After “The Devil Wears Prada” detailed an up-and-comer at Vogue magazine, “How to Lose Friends & Alienate People” attempts to do the same with Vanity Fair. Cross your fingers that Hollywood eventually gets to Field & Stream.
• "Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist"Despite an appealing cast and a tone of mildly sardonic sweetness, the movie is missing that X factor that makes you understand why the characters fall for each other and gets you to root for them being together.
• "Rachel Getting Married"Where “Rachel Getting Married” needs the fast-forward button is, oddly enough, when Rachel finally gets married. Up until that point, the film is a compelling mix of painful comedy and revelatory tragedy, but when we get to the wedding reception, director Jonathan Demme gets completely distracted by the musicians he’s cast to perform in the film.
• "Flash of Genius"Director Mark Abraham spells out for the audience exactly where he’s going with “Flash of Genius,” a bland David-and-Goliath tale of corporate greed and deception that’s based on true events.
• "Religulous"Bill Maher is preaching to the choir with “Religulous,” a documentary that dissects organized religion, but he’s doing it in his laceratingly funny, typically sardonic way.
• "Miracle at St. Anna"Director Spike Lee wins a lot of battles in his new film, the World War II–set “Miracle at St. Anna,” but he ultimately loses the war. A powerful cast delivers, and many individual sequences stand out, so it’s too bad that the sum total of the project feels so muddled and excessive.
• "Nights in Rodanthe"Many critics will no doubt tar this film with the dreaded “Lifetime movie” epithet, but I’d venture a bit further — “Nights in Rodanthe” is the world’s longest General Foods International Coffee commercial.
• "The Lucky Ones"Soldiers might be clamoring to re-enlist if they all saw as much action in their homecoming as the threesome in “The Lucky Ones.” This is the latest casualty in Hollywood’s unsatisfying parade of war-on-terror dramas, a movie built on improbabilities.
• "Choke"The novel from “Fight Club” writer Chuck Palahniuk, about a sex addict who pretends he’s choking in restaurants to make money to pay for his demented mom’s hospital care, wasn’t exactly great literature. But the characters felt vaguely real beneath the weirdness — or perhaps because of it — and the story had glimmers of poignancy at which writer-director Clark Gregg’s film hints only rarely.
• "Lakeview Terrace"If only “Lakeview Terrace” could have been as honest about its intentions. This schlocky suspense flick about African-American L.A. cop Sam Jackson blowing a gasket when a mixed-race couple (Patrick Wilson and Kerry Washington) move in next door is no deeper than “Unlawful Entry,” but oh, how it wants you to think it has some resonant message about race in the post-riot, new-millennial Los Angeles.
• "My Best Friend's Girl"Want to spend a seemingly endless 100 minutes watching a dullard trying to decide between a douchebag and a eunuch? Then run, don’t walk, to “My Best Friend’s Girl,” a supremely irritating movie about idiots and their dull quest for unconvincing love.
• "Appaloosa"If the two paradigms for American Westerns are going to be haunting and beautifully evocative recollections of an era long past (“The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford”) or unambitious but entertaining shoot-em-ups (“3:10 to Yuma”), put Ed Harris’ “Appaloosa” firmly in the latter category, with a few wispy suggestions of artifice lurking in the background.
• "Ghost Town"You can only wander down this comic road for so long; once you’ve run through a few sight gags, you have to go somewhere else with this old-fashioned, high-concept premise. Unfortunately, director and co-writer David Koepp heads toward sticky sentimentality — and that’s not nearly so good a fit for star Ricky Gervais. The way in which the ghosts find closure, and the visual effect that accompanies that moment, is too feel-good and looks especially cheesy.
• "The Duchess"If it comes as something of a shock to you that women — even rich, attractive, aristocratic women — weren’t treated particularly well in the 18th century, then you’re the perfect audience for “The Duchess,” based on the true story of Georgiana Spencer, an ancestor of Princess Diana.
• "Igor"A potentially original premise and an eager voice cast led by John Cusack and Molly Shannon are left to decay amid a clunky story vaguely reminiscent of “Monsters, Inc.” and a clutter of cartoon images often resembling visuals rejected from “Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride.”
• "Hounddog"I have no idea what the unfortunate audience at Sundance had to endure, but I can attest that what’s about to hit U.S. screens is a laughably lurid, vulgar parade of barefoot children, Gothic stereotypes, and “Fetch me a Co-Cola” dialogue you thought had gone out with “God’s Little Acre” and “Tobacco Road.” (I was more than once reminded of the humid 1961 sex melodrama “Claudelle Inglish,” which contained lines like “Tell me Ah’m pretty — pretty all ovah.”)
• "Righteous Kill"It’s not that “Righteous Kill” is despicably awful — and heck, compared to “88 Minutes,” Pacino’s previous collaboration with director Jon Avnet, it’s a work of art — but the movie is so dreadfully by-the-numbers and predictable that comparing it to a TV cop show would be an insult to TV cop shows.
• "Burn After Reading"“Burn After Reading,” the Coen Brothers’ follow-up to their Oscar-winning “No Country for Old Men,” feels like an oddly tentative mix of genres; one gets the impression that with just a few cuts, the film could be a gut-busting laugh riot or a taut bit of suspense. What actually wound up on screen, however, feels like all and none of the above at the same time.
• "The Women"Writer-director Diane English’s version of “The Women” tries to stay true to the original work while giving all the characters jobs and relative independence, and the result rings false; as either a contemporary look at women’s lives or as a bubbly farce, “The Women” flops on all fronts.
• "Towelhead"If director Todd Solondz were to bring a Judy Blume book to the screen, “Towelhead” would be the result. With equal parts dark comedy and even darker drama, this coming-of-age tale takes an unflinching look not just at the awkwardness of growing up but the potential pain and humiliation.
• "Bangkok Dangerous"I suppose the title “Bangkok Tedious” wouldn’t have sold many tickets, but it’s a much more honest assessment of the flimsy “Bangkok Dangerous,” the latest in a series of films in which Academy Award winner Nicolas Cage dares us to ever take him seriously again.
• "Ping Pong Playa"By this point, we’ve seen so many movies about the underdog, the Big Game and the rescue of the family honor, that it’s almost impossible to tell that kind of story with a straight face. Which is what makes “Ping Pong Playa” such a surprising treat — this low-budget comedy keeps its tongue in cheek while simultaneously making us actually care about who wins the tournament.
• "Babylon A.D."When French filmmaker Matthieu Kassovitz (“Hate,” “Gothika”) recently complained that Fox chopped up his new movie “Babylon A.D.” to look “like a bad episode of ‘24,’” my heart went out to him. Having seen the film, however, it’s hard to know exactly whom to blame for its shrill mediocrity.
• "College"“College sucks,” observes one character in this new movie, and one can definitely say the same thing about “College.” Like a fraternity hazing, the film is sexist, gross, and simultaneously homophobic and homoerotic; like a freshman dying of alcohol poisoning, it’s not funny in the slightest.
• "Traitor"There’s exactly one interesting twist in “Traitor” — Don Cheadle’s character winds up being a double agent — but since the movie’s called “Traitor,” even that one surprise is squandered. (This information is also imparted in the trailer and TV spots, so relax, all you spoiler-phobes.)
• "Frozen River"“Frozen River” is a bit of a miracle itself: a small movie with hugely moving performances, one with a vivid sense of place that’s never pretentious in its indie aesthetic.
• "House Bunny"The only funny stuff in “House Bunny” is in that coming-attractions preview, and everything else is moronic, predictable, clunky and borderline misogynist.
• "Hamlet 2"“Hamlet 2” has lots more in common with “Tropic Thunder” than just an August release date. Both films feature the brilliantly funny Steve Coogan as a director who’s in way over his head, and both films hit their comic targets with deadly precision, resulting in wall-to-wall laughs.
• "Death Race"One gets the suspicion that the script for “Death Race,” a new remake of the brilliant 1975 violent political satire “Death Race 2000,” wasn’t so much written as it was cobbled together from ideas pulled out of the Cliché Hat.
• "The Rocker""The Rocker" might really have rocked if it didn't feel like a cover of a couple of superior comedies. The first and most obvious is "School of Rock." As a shlumpy, 40ish drummer who missed his shot at heavy metal stardom, Rainn Wilson is pretty much channeling Jack Black here.
• "Tropic Thunder"Actor-director Ben Stiller’s satire of pampered Hollywood actors and out-of-control action epics mines humor from a wide variety of sources, resulting in a film that delivers wall-to-wall laughs even if, by the time it’s all over, you realize you don’t give a tinker’s damn about anyone on screen.
• "Vicky Cristina Barcelona"Send the word to the legions of frustrated Woody Allen fans: “Vicky Cristina Barcelona” is a glorious return to form. Funny, intelligent, provocative and heartfelt, the film will remind moviegoers why they ever loved Woody Allen. It’s too bad that Whit Stillman already took “Barcelona” as a title, because this film bookends nicely with one of Allen’s masterpieces, “Manhattan.”
• "Star Wars: The Clone Wars"“Star Wars” lovers have had to deal with lots of heartbreak in the past few decades, from Jar Jar Binks to dozens of different video versions to Greedo shooting first. And now there’s “Star Wars: The Clone Wars,” an uninspiring animated addition to the series that takes us back to a time long, long ago that many of us never wanted to revisit — namely, Episodes I-III.
• "Pineapple Express"With “Pineapple Express,” however, the hit-making producer delivers another brilliantly funny comedy about man-children who finally decide to get their act together. As with “Superbad” — also written by “Pineapple” scribes Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg — Apatow and company uncover lots of laughs by working past gay panic to explore the furthest reaches of buddy-movie bonding.
• "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2"You get the feeling that the makers of “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2” watch a lot of Turner Classic Movies, as this sequel to the 2005 sleeper hit feels like the Teen People version of an old Hollywood “women’s picture,” the sort of vehicle that kept Joan Blondell and Ann Sothern busy before and during World War II.
• "Elegy"Sensitively directed by the talented Isabel Coixet — a Spanish director who’s a master at somber, rainy-day-at-the-rocky-beach movies — the film spins its tale of love and loss in a way that feels simultaneously shattering and hopeful.
• "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor"No movie featuring a sword fight between Michelle Yeoh and Jet Li can be classified as a complete waste of time, but you’ve got to slog through a lot of stale clichés to get to those transcendent two minutes. And in a summer when even the latest Indiana Jones movie is a pale copy of its predecessors, who wants to see a second-rate Indy rip-off?
• "Swing Vote"It’s been eight years since the head-to-head standoff of the 2000 presidential elections, and all we have to show for it cinematically is “Swing Vote,” a disappointingly weak comedy about an entire election coming down to one drunken loser.
• "Man on Wire"The word “documentary” doesn’t begin to do justice to James Marsh’s achievement. The British filmmaker was inventive enough to approach the material as if it were a high-stakes heist, with some elements of character study and even French farce thrown in for good measure.
• "The X-Files: I Want to Believe"Here’s a mystery for FBI agents Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) and Fox Mulder (David Duchovny) to solve: Why are the “X Files” movies so disappointing? Scully and Mulder return for “The X Files: I Want to Believe,” which often feels like a routine serial killer flick with some offensive plot twists.
• "Step Brothers"Oddly enough, though, this latest batch of emotionally stunted man-children from Judd Apatow (he co-produced) demonstrates that shocking, filthy humor may be the only way to present these kinds of characters without smothering them in sentimentality.
• "Brideshead Revisited"As “The Dark Knight” is comic-book nerd holy scripture, “Brideshead Revisited” serves the same purpose to fans of a genre I personally refer to as Fancy British People Sitting Around Staggeringly Huge Mansions Being Civilized.
• "American Teen"The intimate way in which director Nanette Burstein tracks the lives of a group of seniors in small-town Indiana brings this familiar story to life, and it should make viewers feel nostalgic, regardless of how long it’s been since they walked those crowded, chaotic halls.
• "The Dark Knight"Does “The Dark Knight,” director Christopher Nolan’s second take on the Batman legend, radically subvert the paradigm of the superhero movie? Not really. Does it shake up that paradigm with a smart script, consistently strong performances and a dazzling visual style? Boy, does it ever.
• "Mamma Mia!"While ABBA will no doubt augment their considerable personal fortunes thanks to this movie, nothing about “Mamma Mia!” boosts the group’s aesthetic legacy. Stay home with “Muriel’s Wedding” — or, even better, the “Thank You for the Music” CD box set — instead.
• "Space Chimps"This weekend, while the PG-13 audience gets the thrill of seeing “The Dark Knight,” the youngsters are stuck with “Space Chimps,” a G-rated mess of a movie that’s the worst thing to happen to the space program since loose insulation tiles.
• "Meet Dave"The premise of a man-sized spaceship filled with tiny aliens trying to figure out their way around Earth holds plenty of potential, but since it’s an Eddie Murphy family vehicle being directed by the hacky Brian Robbins (“Norbit,” “Varsity Blues”), “Meet Dave” becomes a mushfest where everyone learns to love and grow and whatnot.
• "Journey to the Center of the Earth"The idea of ancillary marketing for “Journey to the Center of the Earth” feels redundant — this movie is already its own video game and its own theme park attraction. And if you’re 12, that’s awesome. Adults, however, may find the movie somewhat rougher going.
• "Hellboy II: The Golden Army"Guillermo del Toro’s 2004 “Hellboy,” based on the popular Mike Mignola comics about a spawn of Satan who heroically helps humanity fight off beasts and bad guys from all dimensions, was no classic, but it’s certainly looking a lot better now that “Hellboy II: The Golden Army” is hitting theaters. Despite a handful of creepy and visionary sequences, this sequel remains limp and unengaging.
• "Hancock"While the idea of a drunken and misanthropic superhero getting a P.R. makeover is certainly a promising one, “Hancock” mishandles the opportunity horribly. No expense was evidently spared on special effects, but it’s too bad the script didn’t get a similar level of TLC.
• "The Wackness"In “The Opposite of Sex,” Christina Ricci’s character disparagingly refers to the “and nothing was the same again after that summer” genre of movies. And while “The Wackness” technically fits into that category — and also into the category of “Sundance movies about quirky dysfunctional white people” — the strong performances lift it out of the world of cliché and turn it into one of the year’s more pleasant surprises.
• "Trumbo"Based on the play by Trumbo’s son, Christopher, director Peter Askin’s film features actors performing Trumbo’s letters, with archival footage and new interviews sprinkled in between. One at a time, they stand on a stark stage without the aid of sets or props, looking straight into the camera, often in extreme close-up. The lighting is crisp and provides a disarming intimacy.
• "Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson"Director Alex Gibney, an Academy Award winner this year for the documentary “Taxi to the Dark Side,” explores the conflicting sides of Thompson’s larger-than-life personality in clear-eyed fashion. He has created a film that’s fair and thorough.
• "Wanted"If you like your summer popcorn movies to be bloody, frenetic, energized, adrenaline-pumping and utterly bananas, “Wanted” is the movie you’ve been awaiting.
• "WALL-E"Film tells a love story between two robots against the backdrop of an Earth that’s been destroyed by waste and consumerist overkill. While the film’s most daring gambits pay off in full, the inclusion of a standard outwit-the-bad-guys storyline dulls the magic that “WALL-E” so often achieves.
• "Get Smart"If director Peter Segal and writers Tom J. Astle and Matt Ember didn’t want Maxwell Smart to be a bumbling boob, fine, but they haven’t given him much of a personality.
• "The Love Guru"In the hands of Mike Myers, “The Love Guru” is a failed stew made up of mugging, penis jokes, horrible puns, and feel-good mantras but not one single laugh.
• "Kit Kittredge: An American Girl"The first two-thirds of “Kit Kittredge: An American Girl” are engrossing for both parents and kids. Unfortunately, the film insists on a crime plot that simply goes nowhere.
• "The Happening"“The Happening” is a big snooze, riddled with awful dialogue and unconvincing performances, all underlined by a dreadful score. If this was the movie to rescue the reputation of self-styled genius Shyamalan after the disaster of “Lady in the Water,” then it’s back to the old drawing board.
• "The Incredible Hulk"While “The Incredible Hulk” will thrill fanboys with its many references to both the comic book and TV incarnations of the character, this new movie, in its own way, also leaves something to be desired. Letterier hits all the usual action-movie beats before building to an inert climax.
• "Kung Fu Panda"Plot-wise, it’s every “Rocky” and “Karate Kid” movie taken to a wonderfully ridiculous extreme, but even if you know exactly where “Kung Fu Panda” is going, it’s a mostly entertaining journey.
• "You Don't Mess With the Zohan"Coming on the heels of the superior “Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay,” the new Adam Sandler vehicle “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan” confirms that Hollywood comedies have moved past the “too soon” phase and are now ready to lampoon global politics after 9/11.
• "The Promotion"The writer of “The Weather Man” and “The Pursuit of Happyness,” directing for the first time with “The Promotion,” has taken a group of solid actors and thrown them together in a flimsy comedy. It’s weirdly off-kilter: The gags are steady and repetitive but the tone is all over the place.
• "Stuck"The title tells you everything you need to know about the tone it takes with this ghastly subject matter: “Stuck.” Cult horror director Stuart Gordon plays the material absolutely straight, but with a twisted sense of humor.
• "Sex and the City"Writer-director Michael Patrick King has cannily avoided trying to open up the material too much in taking it to the big screen. It’s simply an extension of the groundwork that the show already laid down, and for “Sex” fans who have waited four years for another fix, that’s all it has to be.
• "The Strangers"If you’ve ever lain awake wondering what Michael Haneke’s “Funny Games” would be like if it were remade as a dopey American slasher flick, your prayers have been answered. “The Strangers” is one of those inane fright fests that relies upon the victimizers being omniscient and omnipresent while the victims are complete morons.
• "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull"“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” has a strange hollowness, as if you were watching an action-adventure from someone who had borrowed all of Steven Spielberg’s script beats and pyrotechnics and none of the joy. Unfortunately, it’s Spielberg himself who’s the guilty party here.
• "Postal"Notoriously bad director Uwe Boll is back, this time with a comedy. And guess what, he doesn't do comedy any better than he does action. The main point of this pointless post-9/11 “comedy” revolves around two groups competing to steal a warehouse full of phallic “Krotchy” dolls with the hope of using them for various nefarious purposes.
• "War, Inc."“War, Inc.”, a new political satire co-written by and starring John Cusack, reminds us that it’s possible to agree with a movie’s agenda while simultaneously despising the movie itself. A thuddingly heavy-handed comedy about corporations profiting both from wars and from their aftermath, the film contains not one honest-to-goodness laugh.
• "The Children of Huang Shi"There’s an air of sanctimony hanging over “The Children of Huang Shi” like a shroud made of good intentions. Audiences with a weakness for photogenic children overcoming adversity may find themselves moved, but the movie’s creaky formula wears thin fast.
• "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian"There’s a lot to like about this film, if you can make it past the “without faith you are nothing” message and the “crush the swarthy infidels” subtext. The Pevensie siblings are back to help Prince Caspian (Ben Barnes) take back the kingdom of Narnia.
• "How the Garcia Girls Spent Their Summer"America Ferrera plays the youngest among three generations of women who discover themselves, and their sexuality, during a long, hot summer in an Arizona border town. The film is definitely low budget, and won’t win any cinematography awards, but it is a charmer.
• "Speed Racer"Overstimulation, anyone? The Wachowski brothers update the animated "Speed Racer" series into a live action free-for-all, but unfortunately, they forgot to include a plot. The special effects also create the equivalent of a cinematic ice cream headache.
• "Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa"Seriously, “Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa” may not be the worst of the animated features that have been forced down our collective gullet since the genre’s rebirth with “The Little Mermaid” almost 20 years ago, but it feels like a collection of tropes and gags so familiar that even 4-year-olds could map out where they’ve seen all this before.
• "Soul Men"The plot outline for “Soul Men” could fit comfortably on a single note card, with room left over for a grocery list and a few phone numbers. A road-trip rip-off of “The Sunshine Boys” infused with soul music and vulgar, misogynist humor, this dreadful film marks a sad end to the distinguished careers of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes.
• "Repo! The Genetic Opera"“Repo! The Genetic Opera” is easily one of the worst movies of the year, if not all time. This goth garbage isn’t clever enough to be “Sweeney Todd” and it isn’t campy enough to be “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” — it’s not even worthwhile in a culty, midnight-movie way.
• "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas"The family drama “The Boy in the Striped Pajamas” depicts the Holocaust through the simplistic eyes of a child: all the brutality, all the absurdity, crystallized by the innocence of an 8-year-old boy. Writer-director Mark Herman has created a needlessly overpowering film.
• "Zach and Miri Make a Porno"It’s a lovely, naughty little movie that allows writer-director Kevin Smith to indulge his twin penchants for scatological sex talk and heartfelt slacker romance. Having old friends realize they love each other during the making of a pornographic video might not be the usual romantic comedy convention, but no one could accuse the maker of “Chasing Amy and “Dogma” of pursuing the tried-and-true.
• "The Haunting of Molly Hartley"Points to “The Haunting of Molly Hartley” for defying conventions in its provocative final twist, but the movie really makes you work for it — to get to the finish line, audiences will be forced to endure trite dialogue, familiar situations and uninspired acting.
• "Splinter"The feature debut from British writer-director Toby Wilkins is a truly inspired mix of stripped-down, 1970s-style scares and vivid special effects. It has so many gnarly, oh-my-God-did-that-just-happen? moments, your jaw will hurt from hitting the floor so often.
• "High School Musical 3: Senior Year"Would that “HSM 3” contained a single new idea. This latest and last of the series is a stitched-together Frankenstein monster of an entertainment, featuring major components that were already trotted out the first two times.
• "Changeling"Working from a fascinating true story, director Clint Eastwood starts out with an interesting thriller-melodrama that drags its story out a full half-hour or so past its emotional climax. Rather than run one of those crawls that explains the rest of the story, Eastwood tells you every last detail, thus minimizing whatever power the movie ever had.
• "Synecdoche, New York"If a seasoned filmmaker created a work as funny, moving, perplexing, thought-provoking, poignant and powerful as “Synecdoche, New York,” that alone would be reason for exultation. The fact that this little gem — both intimate and epic, cerebral and emotional — marks the directorial debut of screenwriter Charlie Kaufman makes the achievement all the more worthy of celebration.
• "Pride and Glory"Everything about the dirty cop thriller “Pride and Glory” is formulaic and forgettable, even down to its generic title. Edward Norton and Colin Farrell chew up the scenery and spit it back out again as brothers-in-law and brothers in blue. When a cop killer takes down four of their comrades, years of schemes and resentments come bubbling to the surface.
• "W."Even though Stone can’t resist the occasional lapse into cartoonishness, “W.” winds up being a thought-provoking examination of a crucial turning point in American history. What may wind up being most shocking to the conservatives who have been pillorying Stone for months is how sympathetic the film is to its leading character
• "Max Payne"I’ve always wondered why, when I see a great Mark Wahlberg performance in a film like “I Heart Huckabee’s” or “The Departed,” I have to remind myself all over again that the artist formerly known as Marky Mark can be a very fine screen actor. But then I see “Max Payne,” and it reminds me; I forget how good he can be because of his frequent participation in brainless bullet-fests like this new big-screen adaptation of the popular videogame.
• "What Just Happened?"Hollywood producers are — speaking generally, of course — rich, pampered, selfish, spoiled and powerful. That doesn’t mean that a talented filmmaker couldn’t make a smart, compassionate movie that would make an audience feel some sympathy for one of these guys. “What Just Happened?” is not that movie.
• "The Secret Lives of Bees"Bringing Sue Monk Kidd’s novel to the big screen, Prince-Bythewood gets a lot of things right, but every time a mouth-breathing redneck pops up to torment one of the movie’s African-American characters, “Bees” loses a dimension. Still, the film has lots to offer.
• "Body of Lies"Add “Body of Lies” to the heap of snoozeburger films about the War on Terror. If you thought that director Ridley Scott, working with actors Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe and screenwriter William Monahan (“The Departed”), was going to break the Hollywood Goes to Iraq curse with his latest, get ready for disappointment — the Hollywood Surge still isn’t working.
• "City of Ember"Would that this new movie had a tenth of the charm or the smarts of the "Wall-E." All “City of Ember” offers are uninteresting characters in a grimy and bleak world — the production design all but screams “It’s a set!” — and instead of suspense or even empathy, there’s just noise and ugliness.
• "RocknRolla"To attempt to recap the plot of Guy Ritchie’s new film “RocknRolla” would probably require flashcards, a dry-erase board and PowerPoint; suffice it to say that while the movie never tires of adding more characters and plot twists to its runnething-over-cup, Ritchie brings enough flash and silliness to the proceedings to make it a fun, if exhausting, ride.
• "Happy-Go-Lucky"It’s the predictability of most movies that makes the work of Mike Leigh so refreshing. If you’ve ever seen one, you know that his films present unforgettable characters and fascinatingly intimate stories, but do so within structures that feel organic and lifelike, slowly and subtly working their way toward the audience understanding just who these people are and what guides their behavior.
• "Blindness"In his previous overrated hit films, “City of God” and “The Constant Gardener,” Brazilian director Fernando Meirelles has looked at humanity as wriggling specimens pinned to a board. His movies attach people-puppets to big, bold statements, but the films flounder when those people are supposed to be, you know, multi-dimensional human beings.
• "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People"After “The Devil Wears Prada” detailed an up-and-comer at Vogue magazine, “How to Lose Friends & Alienate People” attempts to do the same with Vanity Fair. Cross your fingers that Hollywood eventually gets to Field & Stream.
• "Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist"Despite an appealing cast and a tone of mildly sardonic sweetness, the movie is missing that X factor that makes you understand why the characters fall for each other and gets you to root for them being together.
• "Rachel Getting Married"Where “Rachel Getting Married” needs the fast-forward button is, oddly enough, when Rachel finally gets married. Up until that point, the film is a compelling mix of painful comedy and revelatory tragedy, but when we get to the wedding reception, director Jonathan Demme gets completely distracted by the musicians he’s cast to perform in the film.
• "Flash of Genius"Director Mark Abraham spells out for the audience exactly where he’s going with “Flash of Genius,” a bland David-and-Goliath tale of corporate greed and deception that’s based on true events.
• "Religulous"Bill Maher is preaching to the choir with “Religulous,” a documentary that dissects organized religion, but he’s doing it in his laceratingly funny, typically sardonic way.
• "Miracle at St. Anna"Director Spike Lee wins a lot of battles in his new film, the World War II–set “Miracle at St. Anna,” but he ultimately loses the war. A powerful cast delivers, and many individual sequences stand out, so it’s too bad that the sum total of the project feels so muddled and excessive.
• "Nights in Rodanthe"Many critics will no doubt tar this film with the dreaded “Lifetime movie” epithet, but I’d venture a bit further — “Nights in Rodanthe” is the world’s longest General Foods International Coffee commercial.
• "The Lucky Ones"Soldiers might be clamoring to re-enlist if they all saw as much action in their homecoming as the threesome in “The Lucky Ones.” This is the latest casualty in Hollywood’s unsatisfying parade of war-on-terror dramas, a movie built on improbabilities.
• "Choke"The novel from “Fight Club” writer Chuck Palahniuk, about a sex addict who pretends he’s choking in restaurants to make money to pay for his demented mom’s hospital care, wasn’t exactly great literature. But the characters felt vaguely real beneath the weirdness — or perhaps because of it — and the story had glimmers of poignancy at which writer-director Clark Gregg’s film hints only rarely.
• "Lakeview Terrace"If only “Lakeview Terrace” could have been as honest about its intentions. This schlocky suspense flick about African-American L.A. cop Sam Jackson blowing a gasket when a mixed-race couple (Patrick Wilson and Kerry Washington) move in next door is no deeper than “Unlawful Entry,” but oh, how it wants you to think it has some resonant message about race in the post-riot, new-millennial Los Angeles.
• "My Best Friend's Girl"Want to spend a seemingly endless 100 minutes watching a dullard trying to decide between a douchebag and a eunuch? Then run, don’t walk, to “My Best Friend’s Girl,” a supremely irritating movie about idiots and their dull quest for unconvincing love.
• "Appaloosa"If the two paradigms for American Westerns are going to be haunting and beautifully evocative recollections of an era long past (“The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford”) or unambitious but entertaining shoot-em-ups (“3:10 to Yuma”), put Ed Harris’ “Appaloosa” firmly in the latter category, with a few wispy suggestions of artifice lurking in the background.
• "Ghost Town"You can only wander down this comic road for so long; once you’ve run through a few sight gags, you have to go somewhere else with this old-fashioned, high-concept premise. Unfortunately, director and co-writer David Koepp heads toward sticky sentimentality — and that’s not nearly so good a fit for star Ricky Gervais. The way in which the ghosts find closure, and the visual effect that accompanies that moment, is too feel-good and looks especially cheesy.
• "The Duchess"If it comes as something of a shock to you that women — even rich, attractive, aristocratic women — weren’t treated particularly well in the 18th century, then you’re the perfect audience for “The Duchess,” based on the true story of Georgiana Spencer, an ancestor of Princess Diana.
• "Igor"A potentially original premise and an eager voice cast led by John Cusack and Molly Shannon are left to decay amid a clunky story vaguely reminiscent of “Monsters, Inc.” and a clutter of cartoon images often resembling visuals rejected from “Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride.”
• "Hounddog"I have no idea what the unfortunate audience at Sundance had to endure, but I can attest that what’s about to hit U.S. screens is a laughably lurid, vulgar parade of barefoot children, Gothic stereotypes, and “Fetch me a Co-Cola” dialogue you thought had gone out with “God’s Little Acre” and “Tobacco Road.” (I was more than once reminded of the humid 1961 sex melodrama “Claudelle Inglish,” which contained lines like “Tell me Ah’m pretty — pretty all ovah.”)
• "Righteous Kill"It’s not that “Righteous Kill” is despicably awful — and heck, compared to “88 Minutes,” Pacino’s previous collaboration with director Jon Avnet, it’s a work of art — but the movie is so dreadfully by-the-numbers and predictable that comparing it to a TV cop show would be an insult to TV cop shows.
• "Burn After Reading"“Burn After Reading,” the Coen Brothers’ follow-up to their Oscar-winning “No Country for Old Men,” feels like an oddly tentative mix of genres; one gets the impression that with just a few cuts, the film could be a gut-busting laugh riot or a taut bit of suspense. What actually wound up on screen, however, feels like all and none of the above at the same time.
• "The Women"Writer-director Diane English’s version of “The Women” tries to stay true to the original work while giving all the characters jobs and relative independence, and the result rings false; as either a contemporary look at women’s lives or as a bubbly farce, “The Women” flops on all fronts.
• "Towelhead"If director Todd Solondz were to bring a Judy Blume book to the screen, “Towelhead” would be the result. With equal parts dark comedy and even darker drama, this coming-of-age tale takes an unflinching look not just at the awkwardness of growing up but the potential pain and humiliation.
• "Bangkok Dangerous"I suppose the title “Bangkok Tedious” wouldn’t have sold many tickets, but it’s a much more honest assessment of the flimsy “Bangkok Dangerous,” the latest in a series of films in which Academy Award winner Nicolas Cage dares us to ever take him seriously again.
• "Ping Pong Playa"By this point, we’ve seen so many movies about the underdog, the Big Game and the rescue of the family honor, that it’s almost impossible to tell that kind of story with a straight face. Which is what makes “Ping Pong Playa” such a surprising treat — this low-budget comedy keeps its tongue in cheek while simultaneously making us actually care about who wins the tournament.
• "Babylon A.D."When French filmmaker Matthieu Kassovitz (“Hate,” “Gothika”) recently complained that Fox chopped up his new movie “Babylon A.D.” to look “like a bad episode of ‘24,’” my heart went out to him. Having seen the film, however, it’s hard to know exactly whom to blame for its shrill mediocrity.
• "College"“College sucks,” observes one character in this new movie, and one can definitely say the same thing about “College.” Like a fraternity hazing, the film is sexist, gross, and simultaneously homophobic and homoerotic; like a freshman dying of alcohol poisoning, it’s not funny in the slightest.
• "Traitor"There’s exactly one interesting twist in “Traitor” — Don Cheadle’s character winds up being a double agent — but since the movie’s called “Traitor,” even that one surprise is squandered. (This information is also imparted in the trailer and TV spots, so relax, all you spoiler-phobes.)
• "Frozen River"“Frozen River” is a bit of a miracle itself: a small movie with hugely moving performances, one with a vivid sense of place that’s never pretentious in its indie aesthetic.
• "House Bunny"The only funny stuff in “House Bunny” is in that coming-attractions preview, and everything else is moronic, predictable, clunky and borderline misogynist.
• "Hamlet 2"“Hamlet 2” has lots more in common with “Tropic Thunder” than just an August release date. Both films feature the brilliantly funny Steve Coogan as a director who’s in way over his head, and both films hit their comic targets with deadly precision, resulting in wall-to-wall laughs.
• "Death Race"One gets the suspicion that the script for “Death Race,” a new remake of the brilliant 1975 violent political satire “Death Race 2000,” wasn’t so much written as it was cobbled together from ideas pulled out of the Cliché Hat.
• "The Rocker""The Rocker" might really have rocked if it didn't feel like a cover of a couple of superior comedies. The first and most obvious is "School of Rock." As a shlumpy, 40ish drummer who missed his shot at heavy metal stardom, Rainn Wilson is pretty much channeling Jack Black here.
• "Tropic Thunder"Actor-director Ben Stiller’s satire of pampered Hollywood actors and out-of-control action epics mines humor from a wide variety of sources, resulting in a film that delivers wall-to-wall laughs even if, by the time it’s all over, you realize you don’t give a tinker’s damn about anyone on screen.
• "Vicky Cristina Barcelona"Send the word to the legions of frustrated Woody Allen fans: “Vicky Cristina Barcelona” is a glorious return to form. Funny, intelligent, provocative and heartfelt, the film will remind moviegoers why they ever loved Woody Allen. It’s too bad that Whit Stillman already took “Barcelona” as a title, because this film bookends nicely with one of Allen’s masterpieces, “Manhattan.”
• "Star Wars: The Clone Wars"“Star Wars” lovers have had to deal with lots of heartbreak in the past few decades, from Jar Jar Binks to dozens of different video versions to Greedo shooting first. And now there’s “Star Wars: The Clone Wars,” an uninspiring animated addition to the series that takes us back to a time long, long ago that many of us never wanted to revisit — namely, Episodes I-III.
• "Pineapple Express"With “Pineapple Express,” however, the hit-making producer delivers another brilliantly funny comedy about man-children who finally decide to get their act together. As with “Superbad” — also written by “Pineapple” scribes Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg — Apatow and company uncover lots of laughs by working past gay panic to explore the furthest reaches of buddy-movie bonding.
• "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2"You get the feeling that the makers of “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2” watch a lot of Turner Classic Movies, as this sequel to the 2005 sleeper hit feels like the Teen People version of an old Hollywood “women’s picture,” the sort of vehicle that kept Joan Blondell and Ann Sothern busy before and during World War II.
• "Elegy"Sensitively directed by the talented Isabel Coixet — a Spanish director who’s a master at somber, rainy-day-at-the-rocky-beach movies — the film spins its tale of love and loss in a way that feels simultaneously shattering and hopeful.
• "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor"No movie featuring a sword fight between Michelle Yeoh and Jet Li can be classified as a complete waste of time, but you’ve got to slog through a lot of stale clichés to get to those transcendent two minutes. And in a summer when even the latest Indiana Jones movie is a pale copy of its predecessors, who wants to see a second-rate Indy rip-off?
• "Swing Vote"It’s been eight years since the head-to-head standoff of the 2000 presidential elections, and all we have to show for it cinematically is “Swing Vote,” a disappointingly weak comedy about an entire election coming down to one drunken loser.
• "Man on Wire"The word “documentary” doesn’t begin to do justice to James Marsh’s achievement. The British filmmaker was inventive enough to approach the material as if it were a high-stakes heist, with some elements of character study and even French farce thrown in for good measure.
• "The X-Files: I Want to Believe"Here’s a mystery for FBI agents Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) and Fox Mulder (David Duchovny) to solve: Why are the “X Files” movies so disappointing? Scully and Mulder return for “The X Files: I Want to Believe,” which often feels like a routine serial killer flick with some offensive plot twists.
• "Step Brothers"Oddly enough, though, this latest batch of emotionally stunted man-children from Judd Apatow (he co-produced) demonstrates that shocking, filthy humor may be the only way to present these kinds of characters without smothering them in sentimentality.
• "Brideshead Revisited"As “The Dark Knight” is comic-book nerd holy scripture, “Brideshead Revisited” serves the same purpose to fans of a genre I personally refer to as Fancy British People Sitting Around Staggeringly Huge Mansions Being Civilized.
• "American Teen"The intimate way in which director Nanette Burstein tracks the lives of a group of seniors in small-town Indiana brings this familiar story to life, and it should make viewers feel nostalgic, regardless of how long it’s been since they walked those crowded, chaotic halls.
• "The Dark Knight"Does “The Dark Knight,” director Christopher Nolan’s second take on the Batman legend, radically subvert the paradigm of the superhero movie? Not really. Does it shake up that paradigm with a smart script, consistently strong performances and a dazzling visual style? Boy, does it ever.
• "Mamma Mia!"While ABBA will no doubt augment their considerable personal fortunes thanks to this movie, nothing about “Mamma Mia!” boosts the group’s aesthetic legacy. Stay home with “Muriel’s Wedding” — or, even better, the “Thank You for the Music” CD box set — instead.
• "Space Chimps"This weekend, while the PG-13 audience gets the thrill of seeing “The Dark Knight,” the youngsters are stuck with “Space Chimps,” a G-rated mess of a movie that’s the worst thing to happen to the space program since loose insulation tiles.
• "Meet Dave"The premise of a man-sized spaceship filled with tiny aliens trying to figure out their way around Earth holds plenty of potential, but since it’s an Eddie Murphy family vehicle being directed by the hacky Brian Robbins (“Norbit,” “Varsity Blues”), “Meet Dave” becomes a mushfest where everyone learns to love and grow and whatnot.
• "Journey to the Center of the Earth"The idea of ancillary marketing for “Journey to the Center of the Earth” feels redundant — this movie is already its own video game and its own theme park attraction. And if you’re 12, that’s awesome. Adults, however, may find the movie somewhat rougher going.
• "Hellboy II: The Golden Army"Guillermo del Toro’s 2004 “Hellboy,” based on the popular Mike Mignola comics about a spawn of Satan who heroically helps humanity fight off beasts and bad guys from all dimensions, was no classic, but it’s certainly looking a lot better now that “Hellboy II: The Golden Army” is hitting theaters. Despite a handful of creepy and visionary sequences, this sequel remains limp and unengaging.
• "Hancock"While the idea of a drunken and misanthropic superhero getting a P.R. makeover is certainly a promising one, “Hancock” mishandles the opportunity horribly. No expense was evidently spared on special effects, but it’s too bad the script didn’t get a similar level of TLC.
• "The Wackness"In “The Opposite of Sex,” Christina Ricci’s character disparagingly refers to the “and nothing was the same again after that summer” genre of movies. And while “The Wackness” technically fits into that category — and also into the category of “Sundance movies about quirky dysfunctional white people” — the strong performances lift it out of the world of cliché and turn it into one of the year’s more pleasant surprises.
• "Trumbo"Based on the play by Trumbo’s son, Christopher, director Peter Askin’s film features actors performing Trumbo’s letters, with archival footage and new interviews sprinkled in between. One at a time, they stand on a stark stage without the aid of sets or props, looking straight into the camera, often in extreme close-up. The lighting is crisp and provides a disarming intimacy.
• "Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson"Director Alex Gibney, an Academy Award winner this year for the documentary “Taxi to the Dark Side,” explores the conflicting sides of Thompson’s larger-than-life personality in clear-eyed fashion. He has created a film that’s fair and thorough.
• "Wanted"If you like your summer popcorn movies to be bloody, frenetic, energized, adrenaline-pumping and utterly bananas, “Wanted” is the movie you’ve been awaiting.
• "WALL-E"Film tells a love story between two robots against the backdrop of an Earth that’s been destroyed by waste and consumerist overkill. While the film’s most daring gambits pay off in full, the inclusion of a standard outwit-the-bad-guys storyline dulls the magic that “WALL-E” so often achieves.
• "Get Smart"If director Peter Segal and writers Tom J. Astle and Matt Ember didn’t want Maxwell Smart to be a bumbling boob, fine, but they haven’t given him much of a personality.
• "The Love Guru"In the hands of Mike Myers, “The Love Guru” is a failed stew made up of mugging, penis jokes, horrible puns, and feel-good mantras but not one single laugh.
• "Kit Kittredge: An American Girl"The first two-thirds of “Kit Kittredge: An American Girl” are engrossing for both parents and kids. Unfortunately, the film insists on a crime plot that simply goes nowhere.
• "The Happening"“The Happening” is a big snooze, riddled with awful dialogue and unconvincing performances, all underlined by a dreadful score. If this was the movie to rescue the reputation of self-styled genius Shyamalan after the disaster of “Lady in the Water,” then it’s back to the old drawing board.
• "The Incredible Hulk"While “The Incredible Hulk” will thrill fanboys with its many references to both the comic book and TV incarnations of the character, this new movie, in its own way, also leaves something to be desired. Letterier hits all the usual action-movie beats before building to an inert climax.
• "Kung Fu Panda"Plot-wise, it’s every “Rocky” and “Karate Kid” movie taken to a wonderfully ridiculous extreme, but even if you know exactly where “Kung Fu Panda” is going, it’s a mostly entertaining journey.
• "You Don't Mess With the Zohan"Coming on the heels of the superior “Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay,” the new Adam Sandler vehicle “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan” confirms that Hollywood comedies have moved past the “too soon” phase and are now ready to lampoon global politics after 9/11.
• "The Promotion"The writer of “The Weather Man” and “The Pursuit of Happyness,” directing for the first time with “The Promotion,” has taken a group of solid actors and thrown them together in a flimsy comedy. It’s weirdly off-kilter: The gags are steady and repetitive but the tone is all over the place.
• "Stuck"The title tells you everything you need to know about the tone it takes with this ghastly subject matter: “Stuck.” Cult horror director Stuart Gordon plays the material absolutely straight, but with a twisted sense of humor.
• "Sex and the City"Writer-director Michael Patrick King has cannily avoided trying to open up the material too much in taking it to the big screen. It’s simply an extension of the groundwork that the show already laid down, and for “Sex” fans who have waited four years for another fix, that’s all it has to be.
• "The Strangers"If you’ve ever lain awake wondering what Michael Haneke’s “Funny Games” would be like if it were remade as a dopey American slasher flick, your prayers have been answered. “The Strangers” is one of those inane fright fests that relies upon the victimizers being omniscient and omnipresent while the victims are complete morons.
• "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull"“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” has a strange hollowness, as if you were watching an action-adventure from someone who had borrowed all of Steven Spielberg’s script beats and pyrotechnics and none of the joy. Unfortunately, it’s Spielberg himself who’s the guilty party here.
• "Postal"Notoriously bad director Uwe Boll is back, this time with a comedy. And guess what, he doesn't do comedy any better than he does action. The main point of this pointless post-9/11 “comedy” revolves around two groups competing to steal a warehouse full of phallic “Krotchy” dolls with the hope of using them for various nefarious purposes.
• "War, Inc."“War, Inc.”, a new political satire co-written by and starring John Cusack, reminds us that it’s possible to agree with a movie’s agenda while simultaneously despising the movie itself. A thuddingly heavy-handed comedy about corporations profiting both from wars and from their aftermath, the film contains not one honest-to-goodness laugh.
• "The Children of Huang Shi"There’s an air of sanctimony hanging over “The Children of Huang Shi” like a shroud made of good intentions. Audiences with a weakness for photogenic children overcoming adversity may find themselves moved, but the movie’s creaky formula wears thin fast.
• "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian"There’s a lot to like about this film, if you can make it past the “without faith you are nothing” message and the “crush the swarthy infidels” subtext. The Pevensie siblings are back to help Prince Caspian (Ben Barnes) take back the kingdom of Narnia.
• "How the Garcia Girls Spent Their Summer"America Ferrera plays the youngest among three generations of women who discover themselves, and their sexuality, during a long, hot summer in an Arizona border town. The film is definitely low budget, and won’t win any cinematography awards, but it is a charmer.
• "Speed Racer"Overstimulation, anyone? The Wachowski brothers update the animated "Speed Racer" series into a live action free-for-all, but unfortunately, they forgot to include a plot. The special effects also create the equivalent of a cinematic ice cream headache.
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