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Sunday, May 20, 2007

Another new beginning

Another ex joins the list of exes that have come and gone; this one had been there for 5 years. I feel though, as I am breathing my first real breath in the last couple of years- enthusiastic and happy, looking forward to what life has to offer...I feel relieved.

The last few months have been pretty hellish. I've felt her being more distant, less caring and I suspected that she was having another affair. I asked her a few times and she always denied it. Now after finding pictures of a naked man on her computer- a man with whom she had her first affair years ago, all my suspicions of why she was distant, why she could never be reached at night were realized. Anyways, good riddance and good-bye to negativity; life prevails.

At the end of the day though it takes two to tangle and I know myself well enough to know that I am far from perfect. I offer no excuses for my bad behavior in our relationship, behavior which more than likely contributed to her actions and the demise of our relationship.

It's strange being in a relationship with someone who always wants to discuss your faults openly, honestly and without reservations, but then who feels attacked whenever you bring up theirs. It forces you to retreat into a shell afraid to talk...but as mentioned, they always want to discuss things, as long as it is not about themselves.

Anyways, that's over with now, and I am making myself the promise of never becoming involved in another dead end relationship. It is odd though how promising our relationship started out, I really felt this was the woman I would spend forever with; time is a cruel liar- but an honest judge of truth.

I wish her well, I wish her good health, and I wish her much happiness.

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