Garfield's Video Picks

Saturday, June 14, 2008

MSNBC Movie Reviews

• "The Happening"
“The Happening” is a big snooze, riddled with awful dialogue and unconvincing performances, all underlined by a dreadful score. If this was the movie to rescue the reputation of self-styled genius Shyamalan after the disaster of “Lady in the Water,” then it’s back to the old drawing board.
• "The Incredible Hulk"
While “The Incredible Hulk” will thrill fanboys with its many references to both the comic book and TV incarnations of the character, this new movie, in its own way, also leaves something to be desired. Letterier hits all the usual action-movie beats before building to an inert climax.
• "Kung Fu Panda"
Plot-wise, it’s every “Rocky” and “Karate Kid” movie taken to a wonderfully ridiculous extreme, but even if you know exactly where “Kung Fu Panda” is going, it’s a mostly entertaining journey.
• "You Don't Mess With the Zohan"
Coming on the heels of the superior “Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay,” the new Adam Sandler vehicle “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan” confirms that Hollywood comedies have moved past the “too soon” phase and are now ready to lampoon global politics after 9/11.
• "The Promotion"
The writer of “The Weather Man” and “The Pursuit of Happyness,” directing for the first time with “The Promotion,” has taken a group of solid actors and thrown them together in a flimsy comedy. It’s weirdly off-kilter: The gags are steady and repetitive but the tone is all over the place.
• "Stuck"
The title tells you everything you need to know about the tone it takes with this ghastly subject matter: “Stuck.” Cult horror director Stuart Gordon plays the material absolutely straight, but with a twisted sense of humor.
• "Sex and the City"
Writer-director Michael Patrick King has cannily avoided trying to open up the material too much in taking it to the big screen. It’s simply an extension of the groundwork that the show already laid down, and for “Sex” fans who have waited four years for another fix, that’s all it has to be.
• "The Strangers"
If you’ve ever lain awake wondering what Michael Haneke’s “Funny Games” would be like if it were remade as a dopey American slasher flick, your prayers have been answered. “The Strangers” is one of those inane fright fests that relies upon the victimizers being omniscient and omnipresent while the victims are complete morons.
• "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull"
“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” has a strange hollowness, as if you were watching an action-adventure from someone who had borrowed all of Steven Spielberg’s script beats and pyrotechnics and none of the joy. Unfortunately, it’s Spielberg himself who’s the guilty party here.
• "Postal"
Notoriously bad director Uwe Boll is back, this time with a comedy. And guess what, he doesn't do comedy any better than he does action. The main point of this pointless post-9/11 “comedy” revolves around two groups competing to steal a warehouse full of phallic “Krotchy” dolls with the hope of using them for various nefarious purposes.
• "War, Inc."
“War, Inc.”, a new political satire co-written by and starring John Cusack, reminds us that it’s possible to agree with a movie’s agenda while simultaneously despising the movie itself. A thuddingly heavy-handed comedy about corporations profiting both from wars and from their aftermath, the film contains not one honest-to-goodness laugh.
• "The Children of Huang Shi"
There’s an air of sanctimony hanging over “The Children of Huang Shi” like a shroud made of good intentions. Audiences with a weakness for photogenic children overcoming adversity may find themselves moved, but the movie’s creaky formula wears thin fast.
• "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian"
There’s a lot to like about this film, if you can make it past the “without faith you are nothing” message and the “crush the swarthy infidels” subtext. The Pevensie siblings are back to help Prince Caspian (Ben Barnes) take back the kingdom of Narnia.
• "How the Garcia Girls Spent Their Summer"
America Ferrera plays the youngest among three generations of women who discover themselves, and their sexuality, during a long, hot summer in an Arizona border town. The film is definitely low budget, and won’t win any cinematography awards, but it is a charmer.
• "Speed Racer"
Overstimulation, anyone? The Wachowski brothers update the animated "Speed Racer" series into a live action free-for-all, but unfortunately, they forgot to include a plot. The special effects also create the equivalent of a cinematic ice cream headache.
• "What Happens in Vegas"

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